Our Miracle Girl

I am not sure how many of you know the story of how Gracie came to be.  Readers Digest version is that in 2008, Gary and I, after 3 years of waiting, finally got an appointment with the fertility clinic here in Calgary, after some pretty frank discussions surrounding my age it was decided that we would try IVF to get pregnant.  After one round of the fertility drugs we were told not to bother and that our chances of having a child of our own were "slim to none".  They referred us to a counsellor and sent us on our way.  Anyone who has dealt with these guys, bedside manner is not their foray.  We went home and took our lumps, I had a great boss at the time who allowed me my "pity party day" with no questions (thanks Launa!).  But we picked ourselves up and made some new plans.  To be honest we were OK either way, we both knew that we would lead happy and fulfilled lives nonetheless, just in a different direction.  Well 6 weeks later I felt so awful I thought I was sick, but because I had no family doctor I went back to the fertility clinic and well 2 weeks later and a million pregnancy tests (the tests kept coming back positive but because of some surrounding circumstances they were convinced that the baby was lost) they confirmed a pregnancy.  This took everyone, especially Gary and I, (I do believe his head did a 360 when I told him) by complete surprise, good surprise but surprise none the less.  Here starts the story of Gracie, a two and half year old that never does anything "textbook".  

With everything that she has gone through up until now and all the odds that she continues to defy it makes me think.  She has a disease which has only been documented in 18 other children throughout the world.  Upon diagnosis the disease was in over 75% of her body, I don't think any medical person really thought she had a hope in hell.  The complications that arose leading up to transplant, the fact that we went into transplant without a complete recovery and it seems to have worked, the pneumonia and nobody knew for the fact that the anesthesia tipped her over (she was walking around and playing with only 30% lung capacity?), this is all a head shaker.  As her old Oncologist Dr. Marty used to say, Gracie does nothing textbook. 

I wonder what life has in store for her?  I no doubt thing she was put here to do something big, she has to be here for more than just our enjoyment?  I don't deserve all that.  She continues to amaze me everyday with her strength and resilience.  Don't get me wrong she is like any two year old and lasts 10 minutes at dinner, has huge objections to clothing other than her princess robe, to her its perfectly acceptable to wear it to the mall, she melts down if Bunny is not in a reachable distance and freaks out if you want her to wear brown shoes instead of black.  She sings when no one is listening, getting only every fourth or fifth word, dances when everyone is looking, loves to hear people laugh and gets upset when people are sad.

I can tell you one thing she better not give me any more grief during her teen years, I am full up.  I know that Mom is laughing and saying "payback is a bitch" but I am serious little girl, you do not want to meet Rita (my alter ego, rightly named by my White Rock pals), she is nasty. 

I don't know anything for sure anymore and I no longer can tell you with the certainty of a 20 year old that I know what tomorrow will bring, but I do know one thing for sure and that is the moment you decide to become a parent, you make the decision to spend the rest of your life with your heart walking outside your body.

Things are good with us today, this week and this month, I hope this trend continues.  Wishing you all the best memories and happiness that life brings to your doorstep.  Every moment is a memory.  Dance when everyone is looking, sing even if you don't know all the words, listen when people are laughing and listen harder when they are sad.

Happy Christmas Season...oh and just in case any of you were expecting a picture of Gracie and Santa this year, here is 2010, don't think its gonna happen....

The Sterks