Scans

Tailspin it was.  I was asked once if a brand new diagnosis was more devastating than a relapse and having been through both, I can say they are equal in so many ways but different in the way your heart wrenches.  Maybe if it is a new diagnosis there is so much hope or despair, or fear of the unknown.  But with a relapse I can honestly say, it rips your heart out because you know what lies ahead.  You don't know that with the beginning.

So once you get to the "remission" stage, which I will say with clarity every cancer patient young or old, hates this term, so much so they have phased it out of all medical lingo, you live in limbo.  If I had 5$ for every time some said to me "arent you glad its over?"  I would be a rich woman, what these people don"t undestand, which was stated in my blog of _______________ it is never over, it will never be over.   The only time it is over is when it is truly over and they have gone to Gramma in Heaven.  She wants to visit her Gramma in Heaven she says it repeatedly, maybe she is trying to say something to sus.

Signs of lymphma:

Restlesness;
undecidenness
weakness
nught sweats
high lhl levls

 and  I really dont blame her, so would I, but I am not r
ady yet.  I need to see her first, it is the way it is supposed to be, and in some way I will make sure that is the way.  It is my job to