Tuesday

Well Miss Gracie has a virus, its official.  On the good news front it is a common form of children's influenza.  On the bad news side this is on top of a nasty diaper rash and diarrhea, which are a result of last week's chemo.  This goes along with mouth sores and a fever hovering around 39.  So she is a pretty sick little girl who is now on some morphine to control her pain and hydration, as she won't eat because of the mouth sores, some antibiotics to control any possible outbreak of pneumonia, and those are just the new drugs which are on top of the regular four drugs she takes daily.  Don't even get me started on the chemo drugs. 

She is getting her blood transfusion as I write this and due for platelets tomorrow, which means she dropped sooner than we thought, this time around.  This sucks, any of the other cancer families that are following this blog will agree with me, I am sure, there is no other way to describe this other than "it sucks".  Most of the time I have to stifle my screams as I think if I started I wouldn't stop.  I think back to early last year when all I was worried about was which vaccinations I should give her.  Going through this is something, us "Cancer Families", as we are referred to up here, never asked for and we don't want to be doing this, but we will do whatever it takes to make our children well and keep them happy.  So when you think we are your hero's and that we are the strongest people you have met, remember we are not, we are just another human who wants to scream and fall apart, it just happens not to be an option for us as we have bigger issues to deal with than ourselves.   So thank you to all of those who have called me their hero, but I do not deserve this title, the true hero, in my story, is a two foot tall blond Angel who can't wait to be a regular kid.