We are home

After a few harrowing nights we are home.  Gracie did not handle this round of chemo as well as she has handled things in the past.  She was quite nauseous both Saturday night and Sunday.  She is sleeping alot during the day as she is up alot during the nights. 

We were really glad to be home last night, only to be called back to Children's at 7 p.m. as they "forgot" to give one of the chemo drugs, this along with a mix up on the chemo drugs on Friday was enough to make me want to lose it.  But more than that it is another added guilt as I felt we did not inform ourselves properly on what drugs she was getting, when and how much.  This protocoal was so much more complicated than the ones in the past, but it goes to show you have to be so diligent all of the time.  So add that onto my ever growing list of "mom guilt". 

All in all she is going fine, but I do expect some blood transfusions late this week or early next as her nutriphil count will tank as it did last time, this time I will be prepared.  I just hope that it doesn't mean another week long hospital stay.  As far as Gary and I, we are hanging in there.  I am not handling things as well as I did last time, but I guess this is to be expected.  I am just not used to being this down, this scared, this angry and feeling this helpless for this long.  Hopefully some time will make this better. 

Hope everyone is well, thanks for checking up on us.

Much Love,
the Sterks