Well we have been in here over a week now and yesterday I was starting to think that things so far have gone rather smoothly, well that was at least until yesterday. Unfortuneately Gracie's fevers came back despite being on two different antibiotics for over 9 days. We are not sure what is causing the fevers and Gracie herself feels fine, she is just hot. And when I say fevers I mean 40.9 degree fevers which is crazy. So we have been delayed to Tuesday at the best sceanario and if her fevers do not subside in the next 24 hours then we will be delayed to the beginning of July. This is scary and frustrating to say the least, we were gearing up to go through the next month, which would most likely be one of the worst months of our lives, only to be told that we have to wait another two weeks is devastating to us, not to mention being terrified of not knowing what is causing her fevers.
I wish I had someone to be mad at, I wish I could vent all this anger at the right person, if it only could be that easy as there is no one and nothing to be mad at. But again I feel like I have been punched in the stomach and I am not sure, anymore, if I will know how to live without being afraid all the time, I wish for Peace in my life and I wish Gracie could have some sort of normal 2 year old life. As we head into summer, Gary and I are sure never to make too many plans as they most often get cancelled, but the two things we did want to do is have a good visit with some friends from the States and go to Christina Lake for a week, with the delays now, both of these things look like impossibilities. It seems so selfish to be worried about cancelling things like this, but this is what sickness does, it sucks in your whole life, there is not one area it does not touch. So I am more angry about that than actually having to go without, I am angry that there is nothing it leaves alone.
Will keep this posted with what we know.
The Sterks
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